I Visited Hell This Weekend

This is what I wore to hell Chucky Cheese this weekend. OMG! Can we say the kids were on ACID! This was my first visit to Chuckey Cheese...and I never want to be invited again!  I knew there would be kids overload but did they all have to inhale paint before they got there! I felt like I walked into the little shop of horrors!

(Jeggings/Shirt/Cardi/Scarf from Target;Calvin Klein shoes;stolen borrowed hat)

Kids running and crying and jumping and pulling and screaming and getting lost. That dirty Chucky Cheese Rat dancing in the front of the stage. I couldn't even focus! It was sensory overload. My eye started twitching and my hands were getting all sweaty...even all the kids started to all look the same. And before you go all "hard" on me, the mother of the birthday girl looked just as frazzled, I am almost positive that was her first and last time throwing a kiddie party there! When I got back to my car, I started rocking back and forth saying the Lord's Prayer over and over! LOL

I pretty much rocked this scarf with everything this weekend, it makes me happy.

Thrifted Ralph Lauren Blazer; Steve Madden shoes...everything else TARGET!

Those Evil Spammers!

Banana Republic Jacket (I've had this for ages)

Arden B.- Shirt (this is super old because I haven't shopped there in about 5 years!)

Jeggings from Macy's

Marc Fisher Lace up Shoes via Marshall's

LV Speedy 35

Scarf: Target

Hat: I might have jacked this from a certain somebody. Looks better on me!

This is not clothes related but I must let it out. Let me rant first, then you can go on blog surfing. I get no less than  5-10 random spam emails from people out of the country who are always on a sick bed or need to transfer money into my account. It's so annoying! Always from people I don't know! From places I can't even pronounce.

Most times I just hit delete but even that little energy could have been spent doing other things...like pushing another Double Stuffed Golden Oreo cookie in my mouth or something. A few times I hit reply and tell the person that I am forwarding their spam requests to the FBI. Of course, that just means I get more. So I thought I would copy and paste an actual email request that I get daily and then reply once and forever!

Maybe they are surfing my blog and recognize their poorly written email...they will first be embarrassed for all the incorrectly spelled words and then tell their friends on sick beds or the ones waiting at Western Union for my information to take me off the EMAIL LIST!! UGH!!

Dear Patner,

I am Mr.Solomon, Staff of Banque De L'Habitat Au (BHBF) in Burkina faso. I would like you to indicate your interest to receive the transfer of US$12.5 Million Dollars. I will like you to stand as the next of kin to my late client whose account is presently dormant for claims. Please once you are interested kindly send me the following details information below...

Signed,
Idiot Spammer

Here is my response....

Dear Partner Loser ,

If I was silly enough to accept that transfer from you, rest assured that you will never receive it! I will fall off the face of the earth only to resurface if Sade' came to town as the opening act for a Kanye West concert..which probably means never.

Signed,

Annoyed Reiko 

Ok...I feel better. Go on, get out of here. Go blog surf!

Psychology 101

I am a Virgo, which means that I am overly analytical. On top of that, I minored in Psychology to "mask the crazy!" I believe that everything has a reason for happening, and it is my sole purpose on earth to figure the reasons for everything! With that in mind, I must say that today was quite the day for reasoning and statistics in my head.

Does it mean something that I counted how many steps it takes to get from my car to my desk at work? 468 steps to be exact. Does it mean something else if I counted how many steps it took from my desk back to my car at the end of the day? 398 to be exact. I am almost certain those numbers are significant and mean a great deal!

Does it mean something else if I felt heavily sedated on my drive home from work, even though it was broad day light? Does it mean something that as soon as I got home, I went straight to the shower? Is there a reason why I literally sighed aloud over ten times while taking that shower? I'm talking about like I was auditioning for a Garnier commercial! I even caught myself whispering "yes, yes" to myself! When I caught myself, I looked over my shoulder like an idiot as if anyone could hear me except my dog!

While I ponder what all of this means, here's the outifit I wore today.

 I loved this look as long as I was standing still  because any time I was in motion, the skirt kept bunching! That annoyed the hell out of me! I even limited my trips around the building at work today to avoid my inside voices screaming to the top of their lungs! Don't judge me...I minored in Psychology in college...that makes me normal!

P.S....I'm thinking the shorter trip back to my car at the end of the day had something to do with me RUNNING to my car! LOL

Trying Something New!

Photos from Style.com

First of all, I am still feeling the effects of the blog love from being the Feature at SITS.com yesterday! I have already made new blogfriends! Believe it or not...but believe it...I really did read every one of your comments!

Back to business, I've noticed the new trend in some of the magazines that I check out from my school library (a girl knows when to save her money!) is mixing patterns. I was looking through some DKNY and Kate Spade ads and knew that I could easily pull off these looks for less. I love what I came up with!

This is sorta how that conversation went...

Self: You totally can rock this look with what you have in your closet already.

My other self: Yeah, I really can, can't I?!?

Self: Girl, yes. You don't have to spend $675 on a red trench coat from Kate Spade! You already have one hanging in your closet from 5 years ago.

My Other Self: I sure do!

Self: Yep, and you remember you just bought a polka dot dress from Goodwill a few months ago.

My Other Self: I love that dress.

Self: So why don't you go shop in your own closet and show those magazines models that real girls can rock the runway look too!

My Other Self: You are so Smart!

Self: I am, aren't I? I get that alot!

.......end scene........:)

P.S...Thank you to Cane Wife for my blog award!

Photo above from Kate Spade.com

I did a darn good job, didn't I!?!

One Step Closer to Oprah!

So my plan is working! If you are a regular follower/lurker on my page then you know that I have a plan that has been in motion for over a year to meet Oprah and infiltrate her inner circle.

Here is how the plan is supposed to work. (Recap)

1. Be featured on fellow bloggers site to create a buzz. (done)

2. Be The Feature Blogger for SITS.Com (DONE!!)

3. Someone from SITS knows someone that knows someone that knows someone that knows Gayle and invites Gayle to visit my site.

4. Gayle stops what she is doing and calls Oprah!

5. Gayle tells Oprah that she must read God's Favorite Shoes blog!

6. Oprah sends for me to talk about blogging, style, teaching, or teaching with style. Whatever works for her. I'm flexible.

7. When I get there, Oprah will surprise me with a book publishing deal or a job on her O' Magazine writing staff or hire me as a staff style consultant. (I totally made that last position up!)

8. I will be so funny, cute and witty that she will invite me for different segments on the show...bumping Dr. Oz's segments.

9. Oprah will ask me to be in her "inner circle" with Gayle, Andre the hairdresser, Nate the design guru and Stedman!

10. Who cares about #10 if steps 1 through 9 works!

If you fail to plan, you plan to fail!

Well, my plan is working! We all know that everyday and every step is getting me closer to the O. Today, I am THAT much closer because I am the FEATURE BLOGGER OF THE DAY for SITS.COM!

For those uninformed, SITS is basically a blogging community to support and encourage readership. Just think of it as a support group for crackheads. Today I am the TOP CRACKHEAD...I mean Feature Blogger! It's a big deal!

Welcome to all my visitors. This blog initially started out as a way to show my style to "thick" women but I started caring less about the Jelly and more about making sure this Jelly looks good in heels! So then it just became a blog about my style and having that style on a budget. 

 Along the way, I've become an expert thrifter and self appointed, non credentialed, never been hired stylist who happens to like her shoes. In my world, a belt under the boobs, Spanx and a high heel pretty much solves the world's problems. I am the teacher that might possibly love her shoes a little more than her students...but around these parts...that's okay!

 To show off some Southern hospitality and help you around the place, here are a few links to my favorite posts. They "almost always" include something about thrifting, my allergic reaction to crocs or Christmas sweaters, my affection for the invention of Double Stuffed Golden Oreos, my mind wondering at the most akward times, my plan to be Oprah's BFF before she goes off the air, my obsession with black lately or my abusive relationship with pretty shoes that hurt my feet!

1. You want to see a grown woman play in snow?...click here:)

2. You want to know what I do while I'm at work?...click here:)

3. You want to learn how to wave to a hater?...click here:)

4. You want to know what I think about when I go to a club?...click here:)

5. You want to see how my first adult Halloween experience went?...click here:) It was not pretty!

6. You want to read my letter of apology to a Shoe Designer?...click here:)

7. You want to know what happens when people like me go to the gym?...click here

I got dressed up for this occassion! Not that I need an excuse to do so!

(Note to self: Shorten the length on this dress to above the knee. Never hide the calves. NEVER!)

Thank You SITS!!

Well, okay...I technically got dressed up for Jesus on Sunday but let's just say it's for you! Don't let this wrap dress fool you...I will bust out a catsuit and blazer with the quickness!

Pint Sized Bully and Valentine's Day

I got home today and there was a little surprise waiting for me. There was a threatening message sitting next to Valentine's Day goodies. I was only disturbed by the letter for about a half second before I zoned in on the NERD'S Candy!

Look at that face...then look at the threatening letter.

That little runt's mom is quite crafty isn't she...check out her other stuff:) 

Valentine's Day also brought me these fabulous Marc Jacobs eyeglasses. In case you didn't know, my vision is bad enough that Stevie Wonder could probably be my guide. I love a gift that keeps on giving!

All In a Day's Work

Once again, I had a meeting and you know that means it's A.D.D. time! Of course, I took the oppurtunity to zone out and clean out my purse. I made quite a few discoveries during the meeting.

Here are a few things I thought while I sat in yet another boring meeting at work.

1. I wonder how long I can go without blinking my eyes.

2. OMG! I totally just found a peppermint in the bottom of my purse!

3. These orange/red leather/cashmere gloves are awesome.

4. The leather is so soft on these gloves.

5. I can't believe I thrifted these gloves for 5 bucks..

6. SHUT UP! What does that tag say inside the glove? They are J. Crew Gloves! Who knew!

7. I wish there was a student in the building to pull the fire alarm.

8. I don't know how to feel about these booties.

9. These booties are literally the most comfortable heels I own! Why is it that these are the cheapest shoes I own and the most comfy while those RED Marc Jacobs heels cost me a grip and they hurt like hell?!?

10. Will anyone notice if I pull out my Scrabble cards and start playing by myself?

11. I should have gone to bed earlier instead of trying to watch The Wendy Williams show.

12. Why is that teacher wearing a Christmas "cosby-esque" sweater? She didn't get my memo on seasonal wear? Or Cosby sweaters in general?

13. I wish I had a Dr. Pepper.

14. I really should stop drinking soda.

15. My tights are really cute.