12/10/10

True Story

So, this morning I'm getting ready to leave and I need to let my dog "out." As I open the back door, I immeditately am hit with the fragrance of weed (Mary Jane, the chronic...insert your local adjective here). It's 8am...who the what and what the what? I get scared because the smell is so strong that the person has to be somewhere near. (Insert images of the Jump Out Boys attacking me).


So I let my dog out...who didnt bother to bark by the way...and I see a man walking away in a wind suit. He is walking away slowly but still. I look to my left and there is an iron dumbbell sitting next to an empty trash bag.

Immediately I think "Oh my god. This dude is getting high before he uses his dumbbell as a weapon to break the burglar bars to my neighbor's house and steal all of her pictures from the flea market off her wall." (Mind you I've never been in her house but she looks like that type).

So, I got my oblivious dog back in the house and hustle to the front and knock on her door. She peeks the blinds and the following happens...

Me: *in a semi frantic voice* There is a dude back there smoking week in your yard with a dumbell. Then he walked away!

He: Oh that's probably Tre'....my ole mannnnnn.

Me: *throwing up a little in my mouth* Ummmkay. I just wanted to let you know.

So here is the letter I wish I could put in my neighbor's mailbox...

(I wore this outfit this week but decided it was boring so I didn't post it but now I need a pic for this post so voila...thrifted men's cardi/harem pants/boots...nothing special at all)

Dear Neighbor,

Why is your man smoking at 8 in the morning? And does he normally work out with only one dumbbell while smoking weed? And why is your man rocking on old school wind suit...the kind that made that swooshing sound when he walked away? Why is he walking away at all?And why is your old man smoking weed at all?? You are atleast 65 55 years old! How old is he?!?!?!?

That's all,
Reiko aka "GFS"

16 comments:

Sing said...

LOL. I used to have the Chronic Boys upstairs from me. I used to call them Harold and Kumar because they smoked for breakfast, lunch and dinner. It was so strong I used to get light-headed. So happy they moved out.

Mustard Seed Collective said...

I so needed a good laugh. Thanks, Reiko! LOL

Mz.Choize said...

Girl, you are too crazy,lol. I soo needed that laugh.

Life with Kaishon said...

Shut up right this second. Are you kidding me? ARE YOU KIDDING ME? That is pure craziness. What is wrong with her? Seriously. And she is 55. Are you flipping kidding me? Crazy!

antonia said...

maybe it's because he has glaucoma. LOL, hilarity.

Mellodee said...

I have to admit this is outside my breadth of experience. I am somewhat embarrassed (not a lot, just a little) to admit that I probably wouldn't know what weed smells like. Nevertheless, any guy outside where I live, with the capability of starting fire, toting a dumbell, wearing odd clothes at 8 a.m. would put me into panic mode. Not sure how that would play out exactly, but at the very least I think it would involve getting another dog....one that barks at strangers!!! :)

Glad you're ok!

Corie said...

LOL...how funny. I use to have neighbors whom I thought never stopped smoking! I'd leave in the morning for work--they're smoking--I'd come back home for lunch-they're smoking and obviously didn't have a job--I'd come home from work--still smoking. lol

Juanette said...

First of all, you know Frankie is not going to bark, Frankie is the most nonchalant dog on the planet who pees in your pics and stares directly into the camera like "What???"

Your neighbor prolly met her man while he was in jail and he just got out so he still has his old skool windsuit from before cuz it still fits and is used to working out with one dumbbell cuz the skinheads used the other one on the yard. As for the weed smoking, he needed something to calm his nerves after just being released from the joint....

OR I'm thinking maybe I'm watching too much tv....

Erika Jewel said...

LMAO!!!!

This is why you're my friend in my head. That is totally something that would happen to me. AND, I'm totally the type to make up an entire life for someone that I don't know (all of her flea market pictures). I can't take it.

Most importantly, did Frankie Beverly get a contact high? Did he have the munchies and beg for doggie biscuits during random times of day (said in my "Golden time of day" voice)? That's what I want to know.

LOL

Moni @ CL Journal said...

ROFLMAO!!!

Girl, It's time to MOVE! LOLOLOL!!!

Ife' said...

lmaooooo... I about died reading this. I mean I started laughing out loud in the bed and the hubby looked at me like I was CRAZY! I was reading from my phone and he couldn't see it, so I really looked like I had just lost my damn mind. smh!!! I'm laughing again thinking about it! lmaooooo

Dhalia said...

LMBO.....

Dhalia

gigiofca said...

He must know my neighbors who smoke regularly, sans dumbell (singular). It's amazing. They live somewhere behind us and it wafts thru our closed windows, into our house. I can also sometimes smell it when I drive up and park. this means I am on the *other* side of our house and it's floating way over there from their house. I'm sure my neighbors have medicinal issues. Yah, right.

Your neighbors man uses one dumbell so his other hand is free to hold the joint.

Kim said...

Toooo funny!

TrendySocialite said...

This post made me LOL for real...you had an early morning adventure :)

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