8/9/09

I APOLOGIZE


Dear Beautiful Shoe Designer Paul Smith,

I raved about your shoe just yesterday in this post. I was delighted to have discovered your beautiful shoe on an impromptu trip to a vintage/resale store. I need to know something though. It's just between me and you, no one else.

WHY DO YOU HATE ME SO MUCH?

What did I ever do to you? Why would you create a shoe so beautiful that it single handedly changed my belief system and morals about white shoes? Do I know you? Did I date you and do you wrong? Did I steal money from you when we were kids? There has to be a logical reason why you would create a shoe that felt like I was walking on hot rocks.

Why would I discover your beautiful designer shoes on Saturday and hate you on Sunday? Do you have a vendetta against women? Did your mother do you wrong? Is this revenge? Please tell me. I need to know. There has to be a reason why when I stepped into church in your shoes that I felt like Lucifer himself was attacking my feet. Do you know how hard it is to play off hurt feet when you are strutting in church? DO YOU! YOU NEED TO KNOW...IT IS NOT EASY!


I want you to know how powerful my God is my dear Beautiful Shoe Designer. Instead of chucking these beauties out of the window doing 110 mph, I am going to still rock your shoe. I will rock them when I know that I have less than 10 paces from the car to my destination. Then I will sit and cross my legs in my seat and stroke you under the dinner table. To show you unconditional love. That's the kind of God I serve. A kind and merciful God.

So I say to you for inflicting pain on me...I AM SORRY and I STILL BELIEVE IN YOU! You will become a staple in my closet and I refuse to push your shoes to the back of my closet. Nope, I won't do it. I am going to learn to work with your creation. If it wasn't for that pretty wooden heel and the pretty pretty bow, I would have thrown your shoe in the pits of hell but that's not What Jesus Would Do:)

Will I actively seek out more of your creations in the future? No. But I will not forsake the ones that I have. They brought me such joy when I first laid my eyes on them. You can't have that moment back. It's mine. But I will not throw you in the Lake of Forgetfulness. You are mine and I cherish you even though you hate me.

I will end this letter with something positive. (That's what they tell us teachers to do when we are talking to parents about their bad kids:) I did feel pretty in your shoes every time I sat down.

Sincerely,
God's Favorite Believer


Amen.................................................lol.....ouch ouch........lol!!!

17 comments:

Abena said...

HILARIOUS!! Laughing @ I'll only wear it when I'm a few paces from the car to my destination. And it's such a pretty shoe. It's always the pretty ones that cause so much pain.

Milly said...

First time stopping at your blog and im dying of laughter!!...oh man, i know what you feel...the most hard to find shoes or the pretty ones are the ones that hurt the most...i wear flats to my commute to work and home and then wear my heels in the office

MochaTrina@Me So Hongry... said...

So many shoes in my closet have made me feel the same pain. I remember when I went to vegas and rocked these bad azz shoes. I was too drunk to know my feet were hurting and I had the grossest blister on my foot the next day. It was so bad I had to go to the doctor when I got home. Ask me if I got rid of them? No. They are too bas azz to get rid of.

I have plenty of shoes like that but I still wear them. I just hope my feet don't end up looking like those feet on Boomerang.lol.

Raven said...

Hot rocks???? That was almost as funny as the Vera reference! Wow...

Anonymous said...

Dear God's Favorite Shoes,
I love your blog! It is absolutely FAB!!!! Okay...down to business...I have noticed that you have fabulous natural hair. I am currently 10 months post relaxer and feel like it may be time to cut off these dead ends. Do you have any cute hair accessory suggestions that will go nicely with a TWA???
Thank You,
Post Relaxer Princess

God's Favorite Shoes! said...

I'm glad I am not alone in this pain for gain situation.

For hair questions: You can shoot me an email at godsfavoriteshoes@yahoo.com

But generally it depends on the lenght of your natural. But cut those ends of girl! Go to nappturality.com or check out blogs about natural hair. It's really about being confident. I am personally in love with Solange's hair.

Again, shoot me an email and we can chat. Also look into rocking scarves, and headbands and try some feathers. I did a post a while ago on head gear.

Teresha and Damon said...

You crack me up! I must say the shoes are DIVA and you are Rocking them...you have it bad. :-)

Thanks for visiting my blog the other day. In case you're wondering...I'm still pregnant, but learning to just wait, LOL!

Teresha@Jamaican Bun in the Oven

JaelCustomDesigns said...

* Visiting from SITS

Okay, I'm at work bursting with laughter. The shoes are hot! They look great on you. I do know what it's like to walk in shoes that are too cute but, so not comfy!

What we as women do to accesorize and pull an outfit together! I tell you...

Cole said...

I think I love you a little bit... Stopping in from SITS and so glad I did!

::runs off to read more::

Elizabeth a.k.a. Type A Mommy said...

Well, you're a better woman than me! I can't handle painful shoes, no matter how pretty they are! I'd love to know if they've gotten any less uncomfortable!

Melissa @ Cellulite Investigation said...

The WWJD line is cracking me up! I hope you actually mailed this!

Jacky {The Sweetest Petunia} said...

The men in my life think it's ridiculous that I'll wear a shoe even though it hurts...but it has to look good! Guess they just don't get it. :)

happy SITS day!

Kristin @ Meanbean said...

you're a stronger woman than me! (or masochistic, not sure...) I simply won't wear shoes that hurt...but as I get older, I've noticed that's gradually changing.

The thought of you strutting into church and Lucifer licking the soles of your feet... LOL! It's a great picture you painted :)

Kearsie said...

Oh man, that is funny.

and you're right-Jesus wouldn't have chucked those shoes whilst driving down the road out the window.

But I'm also fairly certain Jesus would've just worn comfortable sandals.

Jessica Nunemaker said...

LOL Hilarious! I totally understand the "less steps the better" thing.

After baby #2, getting used to heels again is painful! ;)

Zeemaid said...

*groan* I haven't worn heels since I left the office. I love, love, pretty shoes but can't stand to suffer so....

Christian Mommy Writer said...

Cute! Heels and I are not friends. I only wear them when I have very short distances to walk. I have yet to find a comfortable one! :-)

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