Girl Fight!

(You have no idea how hard I would strut in this whole outfit. IT would be ridiculous. There would be smoke trailing my steps because I would be digging my heels in the ground so hard)
When I saw these pics from Sea of Shoes, I gasped. Like literally gasped. Then I got angry. VERY ANGRY. I would even say irate.

So this is what I have to say to Jane from Sea of Shoes.

I know you are a teenager and a model and all of that stuff.  I know you have the model body and that great red hair and a closet sea full of fabulous shoes. But why would you taunt me with this outfit? You knew it was mine when you put it on. You know that I am obsessed with looking like Diana Ross at the most inappopriate times. Not only did you wear this fabulous kimono but you had the nerve to pair it with those killer shoes and THAT delicious bag. Do you have something against me? I don't even know you. I teach kids your age. I love the kids. But this is war.

So either you send me that sequin kimono and shoes to Houston immediately or be ready for all this jelly. Yes, I am a teacher and it's ethically wrong for me to fight kids but not on the weekends. I will fight you Jane.


 Just give up the goods and I will continue to love your shoe game and nobody gets hurt. We can even do lunch if you want. We can meet in the middle. We can even meet in Madisonville, Texas...halfway point between Dallas and Houston. Nobody gets hurt and you can live your life being the fabulous teen that you are.

Just to prove how much I would worship this whole outfit, here is a list of all the places I plan to wear it.

1. To work...yes I teach high school but whatever.
2. To church...jeans and all...except that I will be holding a black Japanese fan in my hand to fan off the holy haters.

3. To the supermarket to pick up some gum.
4. To the movies to see "Why Did I Get Married Too?"
5. To pick up my nieces from school early...I would make sure that I walked all the way into their classrooms too so the little kids can whisper "Is that your auntie? Can I touch her?"

6. To job interviews...I would just sit and let them stare at me first.
7. To Zumba/aerobics class...and I will be in the FRONT row...not the back per usual.
8. To the Jill Scott/Maxwell concert this summer.
9. To my neighbor's house to borrow some eggs.
10. To the Oprah show when she finally gets wind that I'm still trying to be on her BFF team. This is so an OPRAH outfit!

See Jane? I have plans for the whole ensemble. Don't deprive me. Think about it....or else:)


(Just kidding! Jane is actually a blog diva with the fiercest shoe game.  I'm so jealous of her. I love you Jane...but send the kimono. Seriously. NO...Seriously)


Anonymous said...

you are such a riot! i am sure jane will be flattered by this post:)

Mimi @ Irresistible♥Icing said...

Too funny!!!!!!!!!!! LOL. I love it!!!

Becky said...

You crack me up! Ugh, I'm still at work, and you just put a smile on my tired face (yeah, yeah, I'm looking at blogs at work)!

Anonymous said...

I have one word for this post...brilliant!!! I laughed, I cried and then a little pee came out. xo Mish

Ro said...

GIRRRLLL I needed that this morning. Happy Friday..
And YAS honey I am sure you would STOMP THE PAVEMENT in that whole ensemble!!

Expats Again said...

Hilarious. I'm new at your blog, but I can tell you that I already love your sense of humor (and your sense of style!) Hope that kimono arrives soon!

drollgirl said...

oh that cheap tart. she needs to give that look to you. NOW. for reals.

Cheryl Clarke said...

i really like that your blog focuses on shoes--and great shoes too. i love the ones in this post.

thanks for all your lovely comments. i'll be posting pics of the reception dress that i purchased soon. and i'll post about shoes too. :)

i follow you now; feel free to follow me too!


Vintage Obsession said...

Thats one of the most funniest post in a long time :)
I love what Jane is wearing ,that girl has some style!!

Tamanna A. Shaikh said...

haha sucha fun post!! Love that outfit myself! :) Hope you get it! :D

Marion Renee said...

Very funny! I love your passion! I felt you the whole way through. The Kimono is very hot and of course, me being the bad lady... what I can say but gaga!
Love your posts! We need to get you a Marion Renee bag to rock!!

All the best!

Double Wide Mom said...

OMGsh!! This is amazing! You are amazing! I'm forwarding this to my friends who will LOVE you and DIE for that outfit!

Tanvi said...

That is indeed an awesome outfit! :o)

MochaTrina@Me So Hongry... said...

So what sucks is...I can't see these pictures on this computer. If you notice the time of the posting of this comment you will see that I shouldn't be reading blogs which is probably why I am being punished by not being able to see the pics. You wrong for fanning of the church haters...hahahahahahahaha.

Jill said...

Very funny! I posted these pics too. That little girl can rock a look! I so covet that damn sequined tiger kimono.

gigiofca said...

Girl you are crazy. You *would* totally rock that look. Esp w/your Pour La Victoires...

Marsha (BrownFace) said...

I think this is THE funniest thing I've ever read...hahahahahahahahaha

Anonymous said...

Reiko, I am gonna lose my job, if I don't stop sitting here reading your blog. I have a serious girl crush, you are a napptural (like me)a brown girl (again like me) and having smoking hot style. I am getting ready to upset you because I have a kimono that I have only worn as a bathrobe and now that I have seen the light, it will make its appearance as a duster with jeans and some type of tank underneath with a fabulous pair of shoes. Don't hate me, I have to do it...you forced my hand. Will send pics only if you promise not to come and jack my kimono that by the way came from Japan as a gift to my mother years ago (I of course jacked it from her.)

Debbie said...

There should be a box labeled "HIL-LARRY-US" you crack me up! I know I'm late but I'm found you late. Bahahahahahahaaha....you need your own show!!! I'd watch and brang Oreos of the Golden kind!!!

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