(Long post)
Obviously, this is my blog but let me restate that these are MY opinions.
Everyone's experience may not have been the same as mine.
Weddings...DON'T FEED INTO THE HYPE.
If you're not into reading a long post, that's basically the message.
Don't feed into the big business of weddings.
It's a show.
A show for other people.
Alot of whom think they are entitled to the grandest performance of THEIR lifetime...and won't slip you a dime to pay for it.
I'm going to be brutally honest.
I enjoyed my wedding.
I actually had a blast.
But I did NOT enjoy every element of making it happen.
Quite honestly, I was in tears probably for a solid month before the wedding.
People were straight tripping.
At one point, I stopped taking calls from a few people for a while.
I'm not an overly emotional person but I am a witness... things/people will break you DOWN!
And it was not because I was a bridezilla.
I would tell you if I was...but I reallllly wasn't.
I just wanted the ceremony that we would both enjoy.
That might mean different things to different people.
For us, that meant a surprise laid back, cocktail affair.
For others, that means the bridesmaids, white doves, unity candle and the singing of Ave' Maria.
Things I've learned:
1. Weddings bring out the best/worst in people
2. People feel entitled to give you their opinion when you don't ask for it.
3. You really see who your true friends/family are during this process. REALLY!
4. People's willingness to help greatly depends on where they are in terms of their thoughts on "relationships/marriages." Example: If a person never had their own wedding a million years ago or just got recently divorced, their reaction to wedding details/planning/relevance MIGHT mirror those feelings.
5. PEOPLE are ALLERGIC to RSVP'ing! It drove me nuts (Truth... I've been guilty of it in the past...this wedding has changed me. I will RSVP in a heartbeat now!)
6. If people want to help you, they will. And you won't have to chase them down to do it.
7. People will enjoy your wedding experience if you stay true to who you both are.
Example: I'm not an outdoors-y girl so having an outdoor wedding would not have made sense.
8. Never underestimate the power of networking.
9. A low key wedding does not mean you have to sacrifice your vision or quality.
10. People will bring kids to your ADULT ONLY wedding even when you print it on the wedding invitation with GLITTER and even have direct conversations with them. People DO what they want to. But honestly, by the time the day arrives, and you're in the moment, you won't care. But that doesn't stop you from doing a double take or a quick side eye when you notice a baby crying in the background.
(American Apparel Turtleneck/ Thrifted Skirt and bag, Jessica Simpson Heels, F21 earrings, random bracelets)
Things you should do.
1. Have a friend/family member with a camera to take snapshots the whole night. It will tide you over until you get your official pics come in.
2. Focus on things you love, not things you THINK you should have.
Example: I'm not into flowers, so I didn't have any. (Except my surprise bouqet from my friend.)
Example: I didn't have programs. Are they necessary? Do you really need to know the order of events? Relax and go with the flow or leave.
3. Write down your speech or a list of people whom you want to thank.
4. Allow your family/friends to help.
Example: A family friend made our wedding cake/cupcakes.
5. No matter your budget...YOU NEED an event planner/coordinator. Letting someone else handle the details will allow you to enjoy your day. Whether it is a hired professional or a cousin who is really loud and bossy...it's necessary.
6. Expect a person(s) whom you never would suspect to let you down. Whether it is a friend or a family member. It will happen.
7. Take note of the ones who go above and beyond the call of duty.
8. Consider venues that will allow you to bring outside catering/beverages/bar. It really does make a world of difference. We got so lucky with our venue. Think of the friends/family members who live in nice neighborhoods/apartment complexes who have access to clubhouses. You'd be amazed!
9. Think outside of the box for all things! I got my wedding dress off the rack at Dillard's for about $100.
10. Expect some drama on your wedding day. If you're lucky, you will never know about it. If you're drunk, you won't care about it. (I was neither unfortunately, so I caught wind of a few dramatic moments.)
Be sure to incorporate elements of your style as a couple in the details.
Example: Instead of a traditional guest book, we had our guests sign playing cards because we enjoy Scrabble Card Games.
Most importantly, only invite people whom you would miss if they didn't show up.
Invite a room full of people who genuinely love and support you...those are the people you want to feed and get drunk.
It really is about you and your spouse.
Everything and everybody else is so secondary.
Would I ever plan such an event again?
Only if I got paid to do so:)
